Mark A Cella | Unofficial Fan Site of Mark Cella

Mark Cella Hot, Masterful Italian Sculptor, Painter, Artist, Musician, Race Car Driver, Philanthropist, Adventurer, Archetype of the Renaissance Man.

This site is dedicated to the one and only Mark A Cella. We'll detail the life and times of this amazing man. The adventures, fun, women, racing, artistic marvels, accomplishments, education, musical achievements, and philanthropy work throughout the world.

Not to be confused with any other man of the same name, although not that likely, Mark Anthony Cella has achieved more than the hair on some men's heads. Years ago he built a city out of blocks, today over six hundred thousand people live and work there. He lives by the motto "safety third."

Mark Cella Not to be Confused With Any Other

If Mark A Cella were to give you directions, you'd never get lost and you'd arrive at least five minutes early. If he were to mail a letter without postage it would still get there. When it is raining it is because he is thinking about something sad. Every time he goes for a swim, dolphins appear.

The pheromones Mark A Cella secretes have been known to affect people miles away in a slight, but measurable way. He once punched a magician, that's right you heard me. His personality is so magnetic, he is unable to carry credit cards. Even his enemies list him as their emergency contact number. He never says something tastes like chicken, not even chicken. He's been known to cure narcolepsy just by walking into a room.

His organ donation card also lists his beard. He has never used lip balm. People hang on his every word, even the prepositions. He can speak French in Russian. The ingredients of his tacos refuse to fall from the shell. He once had an awkward moment, just to see how it feels. His mother has a tattoo that reads "Son". He has served as the best man for grooms he's never met. He brakes down a pinata with a smile and a wink.

Mark Cella In Person

"The things you have heard about me are all true... I express reservations. I usually avoid the public limelight after my fling with the Princess Dolealanee of Angola caused such a spectacle. It is true that I lived in a cave one summer in the hills of the Serengeti after being gifted a wife by a local tribe leader. It is true that I owned three sports cars and that I wrecked five, and that I taught a horse to read my email for me.

I almost broke the land speed record in 1977, popular opinion was that my thing was that my beard caused too much wind resistance. I could have shaved it, except nah, I wouldn't have. Anyway the women, they seem to like it.

I was the featured guest at a charity bachelor auction that very night. It seems that I recall that I brought in over 13 million lire that very night which was quite a large sum at that time, this was after my short stay in a jail in Guadalajara. In fact I returned every Thursday after I was sprung to play Canastra with some of the guards. But I am no shill.

After being vested by Will Am in a vigorous fencing match, it became clear to me that he was no man to say no to. So I accepted. Of course the 50 cases of lagger that he had delivered to my bungalow didn't hurt."

Mark Cella Words of Wisdom

1. "On Careers: Find out what it is in life that you don't do well, and then don't do that thing.


2. On Packages: Fellas, leave the tight pants to the ladies. If I can count the coins in your pocket you better use them to call a tailor.


3. On Rollerblading: Uh NO.


4. On Life: It's never to early to start beefing up your obituary.


5. On the Two-Party System: The after party is the one you want to attend.


6. On Lady Luck: Be wary of a woman who only shows up when you're winning.


7. On Drink Umbrellas: Unless your drink is expecting rain, you should probably reconsider."

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